On Awards and Recognitions

I'll call myself pretentious if I openly say that I was not dissapointed with last night's MMA result. Just like everyone else, I was really hoping B2st to win. It's inevitable. We live in a world where awards and recognitions define success. Some who finds it difficult to accept the result may have said negative comments to Melon or to IU in particular in order to make themselves feel better. It's a normal reaction for a fan who wants to give the best for their oppas. I too have been liked that a few years back but with my journey as a kpopfan, I find awards and recognitions irrelevant in defining one's success as an artist. Yes, it brings momentary feelings of euphoria and satisfaction but at the end what matters is how your idol touched a person's life. How they've changed them and how they inspire them through their music and story that matters most. Seeing Beast continually doing their best to inspire people makes my heart really grateful.
And to give back to such gratefulness in my heart, I am constantly trying my best to become a good individual. While I always reacted so easily to certain negative comments about them before but now, the moment I formulate negative counter-attack, the thought of Beast always comes to my mind and blows all those negativity away. I'm aware how they hate fanwars much more people who reacts abruptly to bashing. This and a lot more has been Beast's influence in my life. In simple ways they have help me to correct some of my flaws and I know I can still learn a lot of life lessons from them.

For me, being able to influence someone in a good way is the greatest recognition you can get in this world.

Long Time No See Team B...Sinosijak IKON!

When WIN ended and Team A was hailed  as WINNER...as a fan of Team B, I was extremely sad and a part of me was dissapointed. On my part I really thought it would be a waste not to debut a group whose teamwork reminds me a lot of my ultimate bias group. That 'teamwork' for me is the most precious treasure Team B has which is a very good keypoint to their success. Yes, talent plays a vital role too but seeing how some groups were ruined due to lack of teamwork or rapport, I am certain that group dynamics is still the most essential. While talent can be improved or enhanced through constant practice, relationship on the other hand takes time to develop especially when the person you have to get along with shares too many different traits that is exactly the opposite of what you have. You really need to meet at some point in order to understand each other but it's quite difficult knowing how complex people's personality is. So when Mix and Match happened, the first and foremost worry I have was if the new member/s could easily fit in. Team B's teamwork is perfectly crafted so I want someone who will not ruin that perfection. At the start, I was in awe because not even one from the new trainees has that 'it' quality that could be a threat to the older three trainees. They can sing but not that well-equipped yet to debut or match those who trained for years. So from the very beginning, I am certain that Junhoe, Yunhyeong and Donghyuk will make it to Ikon. The real battle lies on who will be the 7th member. Initially, I was rooting for Chanwoo, he's the least talented but in my eyes he seemed like aa pleasant guy so I thought he'll easily get along with the other members. And yes, at that time I was half-blinded with Jinhyeong's past rumor that made me think he'll just ruin Team B's image and Hongseok's initial impression on me was not really that good because he came like an easy going guy who is so full of himself. But then eventually during the run of the show, everyone has his own charm that made me cheer for them as well.(Tsk, i even promised myself not to get too attached with the new trainees but then its inevitable. You learned to like them without noticing it happened.)My love for Chanwoo shifted to Jinhyeong since I really observed how fast he had improved and he's really getting along well with the members as well. Chanwoo is not a bad choice though, he improved talentwise but not as much as Jinhyeong. It seemed to me that he's really well-loved by Team B. While Hongseok is really talented, his voice is to die for and I'm pretty sure he'll go long miles up on top of the success ladder if he'll debut. But I do think he still needs to practice more, his awkwardness during performances is quite obvious which really needs polishing. Eventhough you possess a very good vocal but if you can't convey it that well to the listeners then they can't appreciate fully the beauty of your performance. Hongseok would have been the best choice if not for his awkwardness and difficulty to fit in. But then good things happen to those who wait. Just like those times that we waited for Team B, Hongseok and Jinhyeong's moment will come as well. Practice diligently until then. Rest assured, I will and a lot more will be waiting for you.

For now, its time for me to say Long Time No See Team B and Sinosijak Ikon. I will always be cheering on you!

Funny and Creepy Master's Sun

I'm afraid of ghost though I find it really hard to believe they exist. Maybe the spread-of-the-mouth rumor about how creepy they were makes me cringe even as an adult. But being a part of the medical field and a big fan of Science, I'm not totally convinced that such creatures are here without proven facts and evidences. That's why I find it really hard to watch horror films not only because I am afraid but more of I find it in some way ridiculous. To be honest, I was not really interested with Master's Sun. I like Gong Hyo Jin in The Greatest Love and Seo In Guk in Reply 1997 but I haven't watch any of So Ji Sub's drama so the fact that the story line is more of fantasy-based, I thought it wouldn't hurt if I will not watch. But a few days before its airing, I had the chance to see Seo In Guk in flesh and having left a good impression on me, I promised to follow him religiously not caring if I have to watch that ghost story line drama he's into. I never really thought I would instantly fall in love with Master's Sun after watching ep 1. The ghosts were scary that I tend to watch it during daytime but overall the the drama was really fun that I really enjoyed every moment of it. It has a very refreshing plot. I wanna commend both Gong Hyo Jin and So Ji Sub for bringing their characters to life. They really did great that I forgot about Seo In Guk's character. the chemistry between the two leads is really undeniable which adds to the interesting plot. for those who don't like to watch fantasy-related stories, I recommend this one is really worth trying.

OCTOBER 26, 2013: SS501 REUNION

I can't help but feel emotional whenever I think about what had happened last night. Seeing pics of them together makes me teary-eyed. For the past years, I always say that as long as all of them are getting along really well, I'll be fine. I won't ask for anything more that will put them in any difficult position especially that each of them had their own endeavors to fulfill. But what happened in YS Story is really unexpected,I got more than of what I really wanted. I knew this would happen but I was not expecting it to be this soon, that's why I'm really overwhelmed with so much emotion. I'm extremely happy hearing them sing ss501 songs altogether. It brought so much memories of the past. Yesterday was not only a reunion of SS501 but a reunion of Triple S as well. Knowing these amazing boys paved way for me to meet wonderful people across the globe. Seeing them so alive in my TL last night makes me giddy and I remembered the good memories we shared spazzing about our favorite boys. Some had really become close to my heart that I considered them real friends even without seeing personally. I'm really thankful to have met good people through our common love for SS501. ^^

Triple S, the dream we've been all longing for had just been realized. Let's forget all the bad memories we had in the past. Let us move forward and support them in whatever greater success they want to achieve. SS501 and Triple S Forever as One... ❤

Appreciation for Kim Hanbin

Great leadership. Talented. Intellectual. Good-looking. And the list goes on. How will I not fall for this kid?  The first time I saw Hanbin on tv, I was completely drawn  that I immediately decided to watch WIN. Maybe its the way he deals with his team members as a leader that I find really endearing. Considering how young he is compared to the others but that never hindered him from exercising his power in a good way. Maybe because I never tried to be a leader before that seeing him works so hard for his group's welfare makes his existence really interesting to me. Not all people are given the gift to become good leaders and having to meet one at a young age is really a rare find. I was looking forward on his team's debut that my heart bleeds for their defeat. Its true,that in every battle, there is always a loser and a winner. We just have to accept whatever fate comes to our chosen group but please give us time to grieve. Acceptance is easier said than done especially when you really saw how eager they were to debut & how they worked real hard to achieve it. It pained me seeing them cry their heart out. It's hard that when you are just a step away from realizing your dream and yet you failed. Imagined how traumatic it is for the group especially to Hanbin as their leader. Just how many "im sorry" will he utter because he'll blame himself again for their defeat. It's heartbreaking. I just hope they'll all quickly recover from this loss and move on thinking on the brighter side of this experience. It's not yet the end. I know God has bigger plans for them in the future. I hope this experience will serve as a motivation for them to never lose hope and keep on working hard to achieve their dreams.
Kim Hanbin, you will become a great person someday! Just never give up! We will wait for you.

WHO IS NEXT?

Who would have thought I'd be hooked with this survival show of YG especially after that heartbreaking experience of my ultimate bias Jang Hyunseung?! I admit to have liked some of Bigbang songs and Dara is someone really close to my heart because of her love for Filipinos, but I am not a big fan of YG as a whole. When this show became an instant trend, I had this urge to watch but because I knew how emotionally draining survival shows are when you get attached to a certain person/group, I tend to let it pass although my curiosity really kept on bugging me. One time while watching tv, I switched to Channel M just in time when Who Is Next had its premiere airing. I watched and Hanbin really caught my interest. After that heartwarming episode 1 with Jinwoo's homecoming that made me cry, I decided to watch the succeeding episodes on YT. Nevermind the heartbreak it will cause me in the future, this show is somehow entertaining and a breather to me. Being a fan of WIN brought me back to my basic feels. Being excited, anxious, sad, happy, dissapointed...those feelings you can only experience when cheering for a person/group in a competition. I don't judge based on how good the team is because I am not a pro to know who is more better, I choose base on my feelings. And I decided to cheer for team B. Fans usually asked why Team B? And the usual answer goes like: because they are talented, more confident and united. But come to think of it, Team A also are equally talented or maybe they are much better vocally etc. And so Im not quite sure on the specific reason on choosing Team B. I just felt more closer to them and seeing them win makes me really glad as well and seeing them lose makes me equally sad. Maybe it has something to do with the heart, the feeling of being moved after watching them performed and having interactions with one another. I really want them to become the WINNER and debut this year. It will be my first time to stan a YG group and I hope it will be realized. Hwaiting Team B!

Respecting that Invisible Line....

So apparently just when I thought that fans belonging to this fandom is not capable of hurting and inflicting dissapointment on their idols, this incident happened. tsk, are you happy now that your Idols noticed you? For sure not. If it was me, I would have been embarrassed. As fans, we are aware of how tired and busy they are going in and out of the country just to comply with their schedules. It's our duty to at least make things easier for them when we can but it turned out that some fans were doing the exact opposite. While I'm trying every possible reasons to understand their behavior I really couldn't because I've been in such situation a couple of times but I know where to put myself. I'm aware of my limitation- that I shouldn't cross that line separating idols from fans. We should always remember that there is that invisible line that separates us from them and the moment we cross that line it will definitely result to chaos. Let's respect their space. They have

given/share more than half of their lives to us, let's respect that small amount they left for themselves to enjoy. Let them be freely without any fear of being hurt. That's the least thing we could do to reciprocate all the happiness they've shared to us. We love them right? So let's create happy memories with them not bad ones.

CRITICS.com

All i can say is that if you don't want to gain more enemies refrain from saying things that could bring disgrace to your fellow human beings. Nasty comments might be okay to some but to other people it can be a source of depression. You must remember that hurt is a subjective feeling & it varies among individuals just as your pain threshold is different from mine. Be more sensitive to people's feelings and know how to distinguish between constructive & destructive criticisms. I know that we have this so called "freedom of expression" but it has also its limitations. Being a man of good judgement, you must know what opinions can be divulged in public & what should be kept. Remember, emotional torture is far more unbearable than physical torture because it wounds the soul and it cannot be healed easily. Honestly, I really applaud your honesty and courage, not all people are blessed to have the guts to say to the world what they had in mind. But sometimes, I think its too much. You definitely know that too much of something is bad enough,right?

Long Walk with BEAST

I became interested with Beast during Shock era. That was also the time when they came here to do a charity concert with Kim Hyun Joong. Although I was really hesitant at first to get to know them because I was exposed to people who had this thing called 'loyalty' to their bias group but because I listened a lot to their songs, it would be a shame to continually ignore them...and so one day I just found myself watching their documentaries and other variety shows. After watching all those, I became one with them. I felt Junhyung's pain when he said that people should not judge based on their past, why not give them some chance to showcase their talents first before judging them. I cried with them & dreamed with them. It was then that I decided to take that long walk with them towards success. They say B2st used that 'pity card' to pull fans over their side, that can be true because its a given fact that people usually cheer for the underdogs. But having pity alone wont make me stay in the fandom for this long. True, I felt their hardship and I pity them for experiencing such an unfortunate past but if I havent seen something in them, why would I even be a fan in the first place? They won me over because I saw that unexplained determination in them, something that tells me these guys will succeed in the future. I felt their courage to climb those pedestals and make themselves worthy of respect from everyone. Maybe they were not a bunch of those talented artists yet at that time plus coupled with a 'not so good' past but their hardwork and attitude seemed to tell me even that early that they will be one of the most talented & popular idol groups in kpop. Until now, never did I felt dissapointed nor discouraged because they always do things accordingly. They had always been a good example even through imperfections and mistakes. What made me admire them more is their courage to scold fans when they made mistakes and had been out of the line. Some Idols are hesitant to reprimand fans because they're afraid of losing them. But Beast wasnt, I can still remember Yoseob's words about illegal downloaders that still rings a bell to me even until now. I was taken aback when I read it back then, scary for a fact that I did downloaded illegally and the guilt feeling after lingered. ("If you download illegally, its like you spit on to something that was produced with our own sweat and blood." -Yoseob). That kind of reprimand is something that I only hear from hin eversince I became a kpop fan. They always remind fans to act accordingly in everything they do, to be diligent in their studies and to be hardworking. That's why I find it really hard to get to know other groups after them. There are a lot of interesting groups who caught my eyes but after some time of getting to know I find myself withdrawing because of something I find lacking or discouraging. I want a group who will not only give me entertainment, who will not only inspire me because they have handsome faces and catchy songs. I want a group who will make a difference in my life through their story. Who will keep me alive with passion even when they are not the funniest or the most good-looking but because they are real and they are someone I can be proud of talent wise & personality wise. For more than three years of being a fan, I witnessed Beast growth as an artist but amidst all the recognitions, they had always stay grounded and humble. Fans of other fandoms, colleagues, workers behind the camera have always good words to say about them may it be with their attitude or talent. I am always overwhelmed whenever I hear all these praises for I am not merely a fan of Beast, I am a part of them. They shared so many life lessons to every fans. They taught me how to deal with haters. While I am butthurt and about to rage when I read hate comments, Beast handle it all in a positive way saying that those criticisms are helpful in improving themselves more. Beast also taught me how to value respect. When they were starting off as a group, they were deprived of respect and was even labeled as 'recycled'. Since they were aware of how hard-earned respect is for people like them, they were really gracious in showing everyone how respectful they are may it be their seniors or juniors. And even after being popular, they still are humble and respectful to everyone just as what Youngsaeng said in an interview. Indeed if you know how to respect others, you will be respected just the same. They also taught me the value of hardwork and perseverance, that everything can be improved through constant practice. I have Dongwoon as my living example for that matter. I am really proud to say that he has improved a lot and didnt just rely on his good looks to cover up his lacking before. Who would have thought he will sound like that today. That is because he was never satisfied, he knew he was lacking and he constantly works hard to improve himself so he can face everyone with head up high and say he is an idol and he can sing and dance just like the rest. I am indeed proud to have known a group who is definitely worth stanning for.

[Fan Account] No Breathing Filming in Davao City: Seeing Lee Jong Suk and Seo In Guk ^^

This is my fan account when I saw Lee Jong Suk and Seo In Guk for the first time. It's quite long and it requires patience but I still hope you'll take time to read for its not only an ordinary encounter but I did learned something out of it.

When I knew that they were coming to our city to shoot a film, I was really overwhelmed with so much excitement because of the fact that I am really a big fan of Lee Jong Suk. And when I'm not yet over with Park Soo Ha & I Hear Your Voice, the mere thought of seeing him in flesh brought so much emotions to me. I'm happy but at the same time I'm in disbelief because I always thought Koreans would pick Davao as the least place they would go for a shoot knowing all the misconceptions people have for Mindanao in general (which really annoys & saddens me). So I searched for a more reliable source of those rumors and ended up checking my twitter & fb everyday.^^

Morning of August 06, I saw on twitter fantaken pictures of Lee Jong Suk and Seo In Guk at Incheon airport and it was indicated that they were going to the Philippines. Abruptly I decided to go to Davao as well and stopped by at the airport. I arrived past 12 noon and I saw a few fans waiting under the heat of the sun, yeah right our airport only have a few sheds which is quite far from the arrival area. By 3pm it started raining but because we were really determined to see them, we never moved out from where we were standing and ended up being soaked in the rain. Imagine from so much heat to being soaked. We really gamble even our health on the line just to see them. The airport officials and police officers were laughing at how pitiful we looked and they were intentionally misleading us by telling that they will passed on that area and then when we ran to that side they would start laughing again. They were toying on our emotions because they thought we were absurd to do such things. I was really dissapointed at what had happened. And then we learned after waiting for more than five hours under the heat and rain that they passed at the Cargo Exit. -_-
Although I can understand since the arrival area doesnt have a shed and they will be soaked if they passed by. But then I cant help but be dissapointed because of the efforts and hardships we experienced while waiting. I really wanna cry at that time. The next day, I didn't have the willingness to see them because I was too tired and drained. I decided to try my luck by the third day of their stay. I went downtown and met my kpop friends for the first time and we decided to stay near the hotel. Its almost evening and since its dark in the area we were staying, there were too many mosquitoes around. I'm really paranoid when it comes to this pest because I've experienced Dengue Fever before, so I just decided to go home past 8pm. Just when I arrived home, my friend texted me that they saw them walking outside with all the excitement in her text. I was close to throwing my phone because of the chance I missed out. I really thought at that time that I was so unlucky and that Im not destined to meet them. Good thing is they only saw the minor casts and not Lee Jong Suk and Seo In Guk.

For the past days I really didn't have the luck to see them. So I decided to give up. I just waited for updates in my aunt's house when suddenly my friend texted me that she's in Marco Polo Hotel because when she was passing by, she saw a lot of people outside. It turned out that they were filming and that she saw In Guk and Jongsuk. I started to panic because my aunt's place is quite far from downtown and I haven't taken a bath nor eaten my lunch yet. I hurriedly took a shower and ate lunch afterwhich took a cab off to downtown without even looking at the mirror. I combed my hair while on the way not even a powder on my face. I looked damn at my worst that day but I could care less because what occupied my mind that time was how to get to the hotel at the fastest time possible. When I arrived of course the shoot ended. Once again I failed and the devastation I felt just worsen. Another friend who stayed inside the hotel texted me to come over. I was hesitant since I looked awful the guards wont let me in. But I thought that if I wont take the risk, I would never really see them. So I entered the hotel. Luckily the guards just let me pass without asking anything. I stayed with my friends at the lobby cafe for a few minutes until we decided to go up in the pool since my friend's friend texted her that the casts will be filming in the pool. When we arrived, they were already starting the set-up so we were not allowed to enter. We stayed at the alley in front of the elevators. I was leaning at the wall when a tall, skinny and handsome guy caught my eyes. At first I didn't recognized but then I told myself that it's Lee Jong Suk, so when he's already in front of me, I was really shocked to even say anything. He's wearing a sando and a towel covering his lower half. Yeah right, he's walking right in front of us wearing that. Lol, no one from us screamed nor touched Jongsuk. We just let him passed freely even if we have every opportunity to touched him since he's too close. When he went in, that's the only time we let go of our overwhelming feelings. After that we went back to the lobby. When I saw Jongsuk, I felt satisfied already since he's the only one I really wanna meet but then it's still early so I stayed. I was thinking that maybe I can still see Seo In Guk by chance.
At around 6pm, true enough Seo In Guk passed by at the hotel lobby wearing their swimming uniform top and towel covering his lower half not even caring about the people..ㅋㅋ

My companions and I agreed to wait until 9 pm and then we'll go home. At around 8:30 pm, the cameras and other equipments were brought in the lobby. We were curious on why and then we saw the staffs doing ocular survey so we thought they will be filming there. It brought so much excitement on our part but at the same time we were worried that they will not allow us to see the shoot. At 9:30 pm, the Filipino staff told us that they will allow us to watch but on conditions that we will stay silent and we will not take pictures and videos that we readily agreed on.

By 10 pm the filming started. Seo In Guk came down first wearing black shorts and their upper swimming uniform. That was the first time I saw him up close. He's so handsome that pictures and tv never gave justice as to how he looked like in person. He's always smiling which adds to his charisma. He has the most beautiful pair of eyes among them and he really looked like Sungjae. They started to film the first sequence which is In Guk's scene with the minor casts. One time while he was getting down the stairs, he accidentally slipped slightly and he was really trying his best not to laugh because the camera is rolling. Same goes with us expectators who were really suppressing our laughter. After the director said 'cut', we really clapped and said 'kyeopta' because he was really damn cute with his reaction. His aura is really light and he seemed approachable.

Afterwhich we saw Lee Jong Suk and we screamed lightly because he was really gorgeous. His presence right in front of us brought so much feels to my fangirling heart. He's wearing a white tshirt and jogging pants. He's too skinny and young looking. He then read the script. Seeing him, I had the impression that he's vain. He's always looking at the mirror and always fixing his hair. And true, he's the type who likes skinship. Lucky stylist, I would die to be in her place. They're too sweet. It pained me. Lol

What amazed me is the fact that offcam, they do anything and were always laughing but once the camera is rolling they assumed their character so easily. Jongsuk would even do skinship even with male, he held Minchul's hands and then his hands went to his waist and they laughed. They looked so cute which leads me to think if he's doing the same to Kim Woo Bin.ㅋㅋ While he's so affectionate with the casts and staffs, he's quite shy to us fans. There are times when he would looked at us but then he would readily gazed on another direction once he felt that everyone were looking at him. I find it really cute! He's always looking at his phone too. I think he's chatting because I saw him recording a voice message and then after went near us and took a photo of us fans in his phone. It was surprising, we are not even prepared. Lol

I swear the shoot took about more than three hours for only two sequences. It's really a tough job. Based on my observation, Lee Jong Suk is really a good actor, no wonder he's in demand these days. But I can't help but laughed with his Engrish. It's really different when your just watching on tv and in person. Before take he even asked an Australian (cameo) on how to properly pronounce his lines.ㅋㅋ He's so cute! But its too obvious that he's tired and sleepy. He kept on yawning and one time he even sneezed.ㅋㅋ

While Jongsuk is kinda vain, Seo In Guk is the opposite. Offcam he will squat in the stairs and kept on scratching his legs and feet while talking with the minor casts. Lol

It's past 1am when the shoot ended. Seo In Guk readily went up to his room while Lee Jong Suk recorded a video message. I think Jongsuk waved back to us for about four times during the duration of the filming. After he's done recording he went near the elevator and waited there for a few minutes. He was so near us and we just said hi and looked at him until he rode the elevator. Before he left, he waved his right hand as a sign of goodbye.

Then we decided to go home, while waiting for the jeepney at the other side of the road we saw In Guk going out of the hotel so we went back on the other side. We searched for him in the S.A. but we couldn't find him. Just then my friend told me that In Guk is standing there beside us. He's waiting at the pedestrian lane together with some staffs. They waited for the traffic signal for a couple of minutes. I was stunned because he was so near us but still I could not say anything. I was amazed because it was already past 1am and only a few vehicles were passing, if it was me or most Filipinos, we already went on the other side and wont wait for the traffic signal. I was ashamed seeing them really obeying the traffic rules that I could not move when its time to walk. I just looked at them until they reached the other side. What amazed me more is the fact that they rode a 'tricycle' instead of taxi. Wooh Seo In Guk riding the most humble transportation we have. I think he's the first foreign celebrity who did that without the camera. On top it all, he roamed around the city freely without any fear of being harrassed. I became an instant fan after seeing all of those.

All of these experiences are really memorable that I still can't believed it happened. I swear I liked Lee Jong Suk since Secret Garden days and seeing him in flesh is really a blessing. Plus there's Seo In Guk who is really an amazing guy. I will follow him diligently this day forward.

If you happen to watch the film in the future please take note of these: "Do you want me to kick your ass again? and "White Chocolate". ^^